Saturday 1 December 2012

Article from Transitions One


A Million Miles and Back Again
Gillian White

Most decisions I have made in my life have been dictated by circumstances rather than any burning ambition to radically transform it. It is only now that I can see that a pattern has emerged and maybe I have reached my destination after all. My stopping off points always lasted longer than I had intended and two of them have consisted of living by water: Bodensee in Germany and Lake Como in Italy. However there has been a constant in my life and that’s  been brief visits to Folkestone.
I was born in Ashford, Kent, then a small market town, when the most exciting thing to do was witness the Golden Arrow going through the station on its way to the continent, or follow the cattle being driven down Bank Street to the market. In the late 1950’s I spent summers in Sandgate with my friend and her widowed mother. I remember them as times of complete freedom when at the outdoor lido on the seafront in Folkestone we swam all day in freezing water, lost our pocket money in the Rotunda and cycled down Sandgate Hill praying our brakes wouldn’t fail. As long as we were home for tea no one worried about us.
I had always been interested in the arts which had begun perhaps with my education at Ashford School for Girls, and my spare time was spent simply enjoying the act of creation. At school we had intense needlework lessons where we learnt to make our own clothes and embroider. Our teacher wouldn’t tolerate mistakes. Everything had to be unpicked if it wasn’t up to scratch. My father always said that the soundtrack of my teenage years was one of the clank of the ironing board opening in order to press seams, my running footsteps up the stairs to sew on my machine and my exasperated shout when I realised I’d stitched a cuff to the sleeves the wrong way round. I taught myself to knit and weave on a small loom much to the amazement of my mother who had no interest in making anything. My father had made a theatre for my string puppets and I would write epic plays, make scenery and send visiting relatives to sleep as they sat through a three hour production which only ended when all my characters had died. After leaving home any spare time was spent teaching myself the techniques of lino printing, crewel embroidery and designing my own patterned knitwear.
To this day I still experience the same excitement when I purchase new materials to work with and plan how to use them. The colours and textures trigger ideas. Then I can’t wait to begin and feel bereft when I have to put them to one side and get back to everyday tasks.
In the early 1960’s there wasn’t much for young people to do in Ashford, so my friends and I would visit Bobby’s, the department store in Folkestone, ostensibly to have afternoon tea and listen to the pianist, but really to meet our boyfriends away from parental supervision. Yet Folkestone, via my parents, inspired my love of classical music at a young age. My obsession with opera began when they took me – crouching low in the car to avoid being spotted by my younger brother who would have caused a scene - to concerts at the Leas Cliff Hall. Here I saw Yehudi Menuhin,  Vladimir Ashkenazy, John Barbirolli, a concert of Rigoletto, the Halle Orchestra and the London Philharmonic Orchestra as well as other big London orchestras. I also remember the magic of the moment when the curtain went up on the pantomime at the Pleasure Gardens in Folkestone and triggered a life-long love of theatre.
In the early 1970’s my grandfather, like many retired people came to the South Coast to spend his remaining years, but at the Four Square Hotel, Sandgate Road where he was staying, he met his second wife and moved into a flat in Castle Hill Avenue aged 79. On a trip back from Italy I travelled to Folkestone to visit him and introduced him to his great-granddaughter just before he died.
Encouraged to be independent and travel at a young age I can remember sitting on my suitcase one January on the outside deck of a ferry from Folkestone, hoping I wouldn’t be blown overboard or be sea-sick. In those days, unlike today’s luxury car ferries, there was very little indoor cabin space and no facilities at all. My youth seemed to have been spent in a state of excitement or fear that I would get on the wrong train to Southern Germany or lose my luggage.  During the first visit to my exchange family I never quite knew whether we were going shopping, visiting historic sites or sailing on Bodensee.  I would even misunderstand the time and turn up an hour late. This enabled me to learn German very quickly.
               When my parents moved to Hythe in the mid 70’s, Folkestone Central again became an arrival point for my children and I visiting once a year. I would take them to the Folkestone Rock shop where they would stand for hours watching the rock being made or spend their pocket money in the joke shop.
My long transition period began when I got divorced and having to find a new career stumbled into Retail Management which came to an abrupt end in 1995 when the business I was working for went under. My health also suffered and I seemed to have reached a dead end with no desire to be continuously beating last year’s figures. It was more than time to consider my options. Unbeknown to me my real journey was beginning. 
I was offered a place in a small community arts group run by Canterbury Social Services that was so successful it was extended to one day a week. At last I would be able to realize the act of creation that I had so much enjoyed from a young age.  First it was simply a matter of finding the confidence to express myself through experimenting with different materials. Then I began to believe I could think about further education. Three of us gained places on the Access Course for Fine Art and soon I found myself fully engaged, drawing trees in the college grounds, having tutorials, writing essays and turning into a completely different person. Never believing I had the capability to go for prolonged study - after leaving school in the 60’s I’d rushed up to London to enjoy the excitement of the King’s Road - I was amazed to be offered a place on the part-time Fine Art Degree Course. With my theatre lodgers and a small mortgage I could just about finance it. This decision transformed my life and without knowing it I was approaching my destination. Folkestone.
After so many years spent in a restrictive working environment, this course, encouraging me to be adventurous, debate ideas and be part of the contemporary art scene, was to become the most influential experience in my life. I made many friends at university - we’ve just celebrated ten years since we graduated - but we couldn’t be students forever and I begun my career as a practicing artist.  I started work on my house in Canterbury to turn it into an artwork and open it to the public. I exhibited all over Kent in group shows and came down to Folkestone on two occasions to show my work in Georges House Gallery. Many of my theatre lodgers purchased pieces of my work during their stay with me. They had lived in my house for a week surrounded by my work so how could they not leave without taking something with them! One friend practicing around Canterbury was involved with Strange Cargo’s first giant, Torrent of Littlebourne, in their Giants project.  I helped by waving Torrent’s left arm for the 2006 Charivari in Folkestone and after the parade spent a blissful day on The Leas, enjoying the stunning views of the Channel and the wonderful community atmosphere. I began to think I could live in Folkestone. In fact I nearly returned again that day as I fell asleep on the bus to Canterbury and if I hadn’t been woken up by the driver, would have ended up back in Folkestone Bus Station.
At last I had to make a decision about the outcome of my journey and as Folkestone’s art scene was beginning to thrive it seemed the logical place. The road I lived in had become so over-run with student housing it had lost that cohesive, peaceful community of the last twenty years. It was time to sell up and move. For six years running after graduating, I had opened my house to the public for the Artists Open Houses event during the Canterbury Festival. My farewell exhibition took place at the same time I was showing prospective buyers around my house. One Saturday morning, twenty five viewers for the exhibition were dashing about the house and garden and the front door bell was ringing continuously when the estate agent rang to say she was bringing a client round. Denim skyscrapers on my dining room wall complete with sound recordings of New York streets, a giant scrabble board in the living room, carved wooden feet in the bath, a mural of Lake Como on the back of the house and an installation about life on tour in the bedroom where my Marlowe Theatre lodgers slept, filled my tiny house.  I’m not sure the estate agent had ever conducted a viewing like this. When her client was asked about the art work she had to reply that she was here to buy the house. Yet she made an offer to buy there and then! So much for having to clear away clutter, maximize space and have coffee brewing to give the right atmosphere in order to sell a house. 
In the afternoon I was talking to a regular visitor about going to Folkestone and he said he had a house there to rent which I could move to when I was ready. I was astounded. I had sold my house in the morning and found somewhere else to live in the afternoon without so much as stepping outside my home. Yet it was an emotional day.  I was faced with parting with a much loved home and, as a city girl, moving to a small seaside town which was beginning to reinvent itself.
I could say I arrived in Folkestone with a bang. I had barely settled in when on 28th April, 2007, Folkestone had an earthquake. Fortunately the house I was renting was only slightly damaged and, standing in the street wearing pyjamas, was a way to get to meet the new neighbours.  Though I was a little anxious, having dramatically uprooted myself after so many years in Canterbury, Folkestone’s regeneration was well under way and I had the first Triennial of 2008 to look forward to.
One morning I gave up unpacking boxes and went for a long walk through the Coastal Park and beyond. I found a semi-circular bench below the amphitheatre surrounded by shrubbery on the bank behind that made me invisible to anyone passing until the last minute. Though it was only April, the sun was very hot. As I sat in this secluded spot the only sound I could hear was the sea. Above the hedge opposite I could catch a glimpse of the most incredible blue and turquoise patch. The sky was so clear and the light so bright, I had to shut my eyes for a few moments. I could have been in the South of France or on a Greek Island. I could look out to sea and be happy just to be still.  This, I thought, was why I came to Folkestone: all this on my doorstep and only having to walk to it.
It is 2011 now, I have a beautiful flat in the Creative Quarter with stunning views from the viaduct to the harbour and on clear days a glimpse of France. Early in the morning I can stand on my terrace, drink a cup of coffee and smell the sea. I can see ships in the Channel balancing on the horizon, looking as if they’ll topple over the edge.
Last summer my childhood friend came to visit and we stood together where the Lido had been and reminisced on our happy days of complete freedom in Folkestone. That freedom has changed into something else. With art and a new home merging to become more than a stopping off point my transformation feels well near complete. I began my journey with no timetable and no direction but my transition periods were building experiences for my homeward destination. An Odysseus returning to Ithaca it has taken a long time for me to arrive in Folkestone.
Folkestone too is on a journey. Like me it has had some very low periods and struggled to thrive. New generations will need other reasons apart from revisiting childhood memories to come. The ferries have gone and the Channel Tunnel speeds people past Folkestone. The new High Speed train taking less than an hour from London has brought more people, but it’s still a town of enormous economic divides and social problems. The Leas and the west end retain their architectural elegance and wide tree lined streets but seem almost separate from the east. I have watched as crumbling properties in The Old High Street have been refurbished or rebuilt through the generosity of Roger DeHaan and his vision to bring a thriving community to this end of Folkestone, despite the time it takes to regenerate a town, especially during a recession. Although after many years of struggling, I am now for the first time in my life, financially stable, I look around and see other people struggling.
As I walk up and down hill, from East to West Folkestone I absorb Folkestone’s history. A young girl sitting on a ferry, I had no idea that in 1914 young men had left from Folkestone harbour to fight in the trenches, never to return.  Now, I can see the changes taking place. The Creative Foundation have a mission to put Folkestone on the map again as a national and international centre for the arts, improving access to education and promoting arts festivals. I hope that the visitors to this year’s Triennial will see Folkestone as a place which is on its own long journey to prosperity. I have found a safe harbour to stay. Though I am still building my life in Folkestone and on some days look out to sea and wonder if I should journey again, low tide prevents me leaving this particular harbour. Besides which I have no desire to travel further. My transformation can continue on dry land as a part also of Folkestone‘s regeneration.
So yes in a sense I have arrived in Folkestone. But in another, and if arrival is to do with creation, I never left. This drive to be creative, which I never question, has been with me for ever, as if the creative process itself were an ongoing epiphany. I embark on long complicated projects, forget to eat or sleep and before I have finished one piece, am thinking about the next. If you give me pencil and paper, I will have to reshape the pencil and sculpt the paper. I see the shape of mundane objects and want to give them a new identity, and then if people smile and reach out to touch them, I feel my idea has worked. At times, I want to be both architect and entertainer and feel the word artist is too restrictive for my practice. As a child, my mother told me I had too much imagination which I now realise was never a curse but something to celebrate. Having only snatched moments to be creative in isolation the freedom of expression I found at university meant that at last I could show my work and perhaps inspire others to realise it is never too late to transform one's life.    
      

Transitions 1 & 2



      
Transitions 1 & 2 are published by Pavement Pounders CIC  in the Creative Quarter Folkestone with contributions from  mainly local authors,

Contributors to Transitions Two

 Anon,  Georgina Baker, James Bennett, Ray Duff, Maiuko Fi, Jim Fitzgerald, Maggie Harris, Paul Harris, David Lay, Trevor Minter, Mike Sanders, Maryanne Grant Traylen, Annie Webb and Stephen Welch.  



Here is a link to images of the  launch of Transitions at Googies Art Cafe 
Music provided by Maiuko Fi Afro jazz singer accompanied by --Jus-i  pianist and Scott Willey double bass

Link to article in local press by  contributor Ray Duff
launch-of-our-journal-transitions-in-folkestone-tonight-7th-november-2012.html
Copies can be had Priced £10 each from us phone 01303 227150. Mob 0750-5813297

Tuesday 20 November 2012

Published by Pavement Pounders


TRANSITIONS, A JOURNAL OF CROSSING


Transitions is published and edited by Pavement Pounders Community Interest Company who are based in Folkestone's Creative Quarter.It comprises articles by mostly local authors.

Transitions One
The First edition, Transitions One  was  published during the Folkestone Triennial in September 2011. Transitions One is edited by Maryanne Grant Traylen, PhD, and illustrated with drawings and other artwork by artist David Lay - a journal of crossings from the edge, Folkestone itself. It explores the archetype of journeying whether real or imaginary, through myth, psychology, personal account, story or poem, and is divided into three sometimes overlapping sections: Ships and Arks, Sea Crossings and Descents and Exiles and Epiphanies.

Contributors to Transitions One

James Bennett, Julie Crick, Jim Fitzgerald, Maryanne Grant Traylen, Maggie Harris, Shaukat Khan, Nikolaj B. S. Larsen, David Lay, Maiuko Fi,  Sonia Overall, Sunjeev Sahota, Annie Webb and Gillian White
Transitions Two

Transitions Two was launched during the Folkestone Book Festival in November 2012.Again edited by Maryanne Grant Traylen with illustrations by Paul Harris, Anne Wimsett, Michael Sanders, David Lay and Maryanne Grant Traylen.with articles from Anon,  Georgina Baker, James Bennett, Ray Duff, Maiuko Fi, Jim Fitzgerald, Maggie Harris, Paul Harris, David Lay, Trevor Minter, Mike Sanders, Maryanne Grant Traylen, Annie Webb and Stephen Welch. 




This Blog




This blog exists to provide information about the publishing arm of Pavement Pounders CIC. Here you will find Extracts from Transitions one, Information about Transitions Two, launched during the Folkestone Book Festival in early November 2012,.news of future issues, and most importantly tells you where you can buy a copy

We currently have no public funding so rely solely on sales 

Help us to make Transitions Three possible.    Transitions One and`Transitions Two
£10 per copy from us order by e mail   pavementpounders@gmail.com or phone 01303 227150
or through Paypal most credit cards accepted

Special Offer  buy a copy of both issue one and two for £15.00 the pair.

Postage and packing  Free until Christmas (U.K only)

Tuesday 13 November 2012

"Transitions 2" is Launched at Folkestone Book Festival


"Transitions 2" is Launched at Folkestone Book Festival

David Lay director of Pavement Pounders CIC who both
publish  and  edit  Transitions introduces the readers

Transitions 2 is published by Pavement Pounders CIC  in the Creative Quarter Folkestone with contributions from the following mainly local authors, Anon,  Georgina Baker, James Bennett, Ray Duff, Maiuko Fi, Jim Fitzgerald, Maggie Harris, Paul Harris, David Lay, Trevor Minter, Mike Sanders, Maryanne Grant Traylen, Annie Webb and Stephen Welch.  Copies can be had priced £10 each from us phone 01303 227150. Mob 0750-5813297
It was launched at Googies` Art Cafe, Rendezvous St., Folkestone as part of The Folkestone Book Festival 2012
Here is a link to images of the event at Googies
There were readings from several contributors.
Music provided by Maiuko Fi Afro jazz singer accompanied by --Jus-i  pianist and Scott Willey double bass

Link to article by Ray Duff in the Hawkinge Gazette

Wednesday 31 October 2012

Ours Are the Streets Sunjeev Sahota


More from Transitions one

Out of Tune’ A V Dolven



Exile

In the Descent myths Demeter is separated from Eurydice, Isis from Osiris and Orpheus from Eurydice. The story of Cupid and Psyche is also a tale of separation and sometimes of unity. It warns of the analytical frame of mind that destroys synthesis - analysis kills and synthesis brings to life - that Psyche uses when she looks at her lover through the outward rather than inward eye. Analysis breeding paralysis we might say. This understanding of the myth illustrates Cartesian dualism of eighteenth century’s so called Enlightenment that separated mind from body, subject from object, consciousness from unconscious, humanity from the divine, heart from head - splitting human beings down the middle.                        
  Yet this  psychological characteristic of twenty first century mind is not as immediately apparent as the plight of an immigrant cut off from much he loves and knows.  Where Nikolaj Larsen’s film shows the hope of migrants for the Promised Land, Sanjeev Sahota in novel Ours Are the Streets shows disillusion and despair of a second generation immigrant’s uncertainty with identity and belonging. Yet he takes us under his protagonist’s skin teasing us with an empathy we feel for this outsider - split down the middle, caught in a kind of limbo-land between much he loves and despises - whose action we can’t condone.
    In Ours Are the Streets the feeling of longing and loss, though never self-pitying, is painfully acute. It speaks of an exile more enormous than that from countries or being sandwiched between cultures. The compulsive beauty of Sahota’s flowing prose where the ordinary is bold and highlighted by something extra, but ultimately disappoints, because of the protagonist’s own cultural isolation, is raw reminder that it doesn’t matter how far we’ve travelled. The amount of loneliness or un-belonging we can unburden doesn’t equal the miles.
This is brought home in the film Welcome about a Kurdish boy who has travelled four thousand miles and now wants to swim the Channel, like Leander, to reach his girlfriend who is betrothed to another. And yet, remarks his trainer, he himself cannot even cross the road to reach his estranged wife.
What follows are extracts from Sanjeev Sahota’s haunting novel Ours Are the Streets published this year by Picador.





                                                             
Extracts from
Ours Are the Streets
     Sunjeev Sahota
            Picador,  2011.

Second generation immigrant in two worlds.
We were meant to become part of these streets. They were meant to be ours as much as anyone’s. That’s what you said you worked for, came for. Were it worth it, Abba? Because I sure as hell don’t know. I used to just slam the door and stand with my back to it, wondering, What end? Whose end? When is this fucking end? Because what’s the point, man? What’s the point in dragging your life across entire continents if by the time it’s worth it you’re already at the end? Ameen. (p 70)
‘Honestly, Tauji. We don’t really know what we’re about, I guess. Who we are, what we’re here for’. But that weren’t nothing like what I wanted to say. Even to me it just sounded like the usual crap I’d been hearing for years. I wanted to talk about why I felt fine rooting for Liverpool, in a quiet way, but not England. I wanted to talk about why I found myself defending Muslims against white and whites against Muslims. About why I loved Abba but had still wished him dead. But I couldn’t think of how to say anything I wanted. ‘I mean, we’re the ones stuck in the middle of everything. Like we’re not sure whose side we’re meant to be on, you know?’
(p137)

Acceptance.
A boy in long blue robes were looking at me. He were crouched down at the side of the road, cleaning his teeth with a stick and spitting into the sand. I were expecting him to come begging, but he didn’t. He just spat again into the small frothy puddle of dirt he’d made, then got up and walked off. I think that were the first time I’d been on a busy street and no one had hassled me for money. Maybe it were my own robes and loose turban, my beard and way of standing, but whatever it were no one sempt to take me for a valetiya. I’d changed. (p192)

Isolation and connection.
The nights would feel so cold over there, like the cold wanted to settle in my bones and make me its home. It’s funny, it might’ve been the most isolated place I’ve ever been, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt more connected to the world. Not in the packed streets of Sheff or at uni, not in England really, where I always felt that even though there were all the rush and noise you could want, I weren’t actually ever bumping up against life, instead just constantly moving out of its way. (p202)
People don’t even think about that, do they? That there are different types of soldiers. That Faisal were different to Aaqil. But Faisal understood. He knew about love for his people and he knew that were the best thing in the world to feel because then their pain becomes as real to you as yours, and for the first time you realise you’re not on your own. (p236)

Heartbreak.
‘I need to wash, don’t I? The sun’s gonna be up soon.’
‘Right. Well, in that case,’ she went on, putting on a happy voice, ‘shall we pray together? I don’t think I’ve done the early prayer once since Noor was born.’
‘We can’t. Men and women can’t pray together. You just go back to sleep.’
‘That hasn’t stopped us before.’
‘This isn’t before. Didn’t you hear me? Just go back to bed.’ (p286)



Sunday 28 October 2012

Land-a-Hoe Short Story by Annie Webb from Transitions One


Land-a-Hoe
A Short Story by Annie Webb


        

Born on a tiny island at Europe’s most southerly tip where the silhouette of a lighthouse stood darkly against two glassy seas, one tide-driven and the other tideless mingling at an indistinguishable confluence that linked Africa to Europe, the sun - as antidote to a dream that troubled Conchita where a witch pointed a glittery finger and turned her into stone -  touched a point equidistant between east and west, sunrise and sunset, in a glorious blaze of light.
 The mythical story of Eurydice’s double whammy – first to have been bitten by snakes, then, when Orpheus had descended into the underworld and disobediently turned round to look at her, been turned to stone – could like any story her mother taught her, be rewritten.
They lived in a wooden house so small they called it their hut, and Conchita’s father washed up on the island by a storm had made a harbour of her mother but left at the next high tide. On her fourth birthday he made the mistake of bringing a present to her nursery - a jig-saw puzzle with huge wooden pieces suitable for her child’s clumsy fingers, of an spreading olive tree abundant with fruit - only to be escorted out by a carer who said this wasn’t the place for estranged fathers. Conchita’d wondered if estranged was a word for good-looking, but her mother had said sharply before bursting into tears that there was nothing good about her father, he was probably trying to kidnap her. And though the memory of him faded an imprint of his handsome, already gnarled face stayed always in her mind.
To have been born on this island, a mid-point so to speak on a whirlpool that stirred the Atlantic into the Mediterranean in a solar blaze reflecting off ripples of light, was proof to her that some but not all seas, lands, lives and bloodlines dip and re co-mingle in areas mapped as fixed.
And the places that weren’t fixed changed according to light. According to Heraclitus who saw all things in flux presided over by one underlying logos. If you stepped several times into a river at the same spot it would always be the same river but its waters different. When Conchita came to live in La Villa she didn’t abandon that belief altogether but found that some things had to be fixed if fixed was a word for Doing. The plight of the olive industry and Michel would demand that. And the unpredictable, unfixed play of light and shadow so bright and stark on a windy day it could challenge your equilibrium, making an enemy by imbalance of what you needed to find.
           
   The twin peaked mountain of Las Grajas, ornate jackdaw, and Tajo Lagarin, rose  like the ears of a Siamese cat, the double sides of a coin or personality, from the plain stretching from one side of La Villa to Zahara.  Conchita had come to live in a house beside Michel in La Villa for the olive-picking season. Through eucalyptus trees on the plain glistened a turquoise lake, once a river crossing a valley before it was damned, said to contain the purest waters that flowed from the heights of these sierras.
            Though she didn’t know it then mill-owner Alberto lived on the opposite side of the plain at the summit of Zahara in a mill under patchy outcrops of rock where mules had once dragged axles on conical stones over olives. His twin brother Albert, manager of workers constructing the Channel Tunnel, lived at the edge of the Saxon shoreline in southern England. Alberto loved to read his brother’s letters about the Channel’s story fraught with danger and difficulty triumphing in the end.  A tale with a beginning, a middle and an end.
             The danger with the ‘beginning’ lay a Bay of Biscay away from the island Conchita had hailed from, in the twenty-two mile crossing that brought two fully tided seas in the Dover Straight’s La Manche together at its narrowest and most treacherous. Strong tides churned the waves that mixed with brisk winds and heavy fogs buffeted against Shakespeare Cliffs making sea-farers sick if they weren’t already blind like Gloucester. Once when fog had hung heavy and wind-swept over rollicking waters, the Paracas, ignoring the shipping lanes, had brought down the Texaco Caribbean. Its wreck had brought down the Brandenburg. Then later the Nikki - leaving no survivors.
The difficulty with the ‘middle’ had existed since mid-eighteenth century when Desmaret’s, Mathie’s and Mottray’s ideas for crossing the narrow rabid waters had come to nothing. Supposing Napoleon had invaded with fleets of balloons or rafts powered by windmills or paddle-wheels? Supposing he’d already dug out a secret tunnel? But before an attempt was made on Napoleon’s life Queen Victoria had told Gamond, who’d spent years on the Channel’s bottom, that he’d have the blessings of all the ladies who ever suffered sea-sickness, and twice in 1882 and 1975, a tunnel had been bored, even champagne drunk, but abandoned first because of the Great Anti-Tunneller’s objections and next because of a fuel crisis.
              After the danger and the difficulty of the ‘beginning’ and the ‘middle’ Alberto wasn’t entirely satisfied with the ‘conclusion’. The signing of the Treaty of Canterbury in 1986 agreeing to a fixed link between enemies and leading to a plan to construct the channel-to-trick-the-treacherous-waters was, of course, triumphant. Land at last would meet through land, earth not water the medium for unity via a tunnel boring into it, linking one solid thing that was already linked, to another. But for Alberto the triumph –which should soar like Bleriot through the skies - was tinged with regret. Why not build a graceful bridge to span La Manche supported by islands and towers towering like gothic cathedrals visible to all, he wondered before answering his own question. A bridge, like our imaginations or even our feats of engineering, was too filigree frail to combat or ‘overcome’ wrathful storms. Narrow waters too wide. Feat enough to have joined two lands or two people, an effort of the enquiring mind which had in the first place created the dualism it now sought to snuff-out.
           
            Conchita was Alberto’s other fascination. Not in the sense he wanted to ‘have’ her as he’d had the others but as she appeared in the gilt-framed photo taken by Michel that towered as high on his wall as his wish of using her as an ‘icon’. Her dark hair resembling the sinuous curves of the olive branch she leant on, fell in long waves down her back, and her form tumbled like a cascade of water in contrast against the rigid, clawed and clambering olive branch. She smiled, and the crowd-attracting happiness and command in this smile, like the triumph of one who’d knocked over a last skittle -  triumphs after all were conclusions to a story Alberto felt he didn’t have - could be used as a trick to convey the power of personal fulfilment rather than the success of his impersonal profit.
            If Alberto gloated at her ‘moment’ four workers from the   cuadilla in the background watched with leering smiles as she leaned far out with her stick to knock a stubborn olive on to the manta, the net burgeoning with ripe fruits, and while others beat back branches with sticks, grovelled to pick windfalls from circular grassless spaces under trees smoothed over by tremulous rakes, she the perfect role model, reached out the farthest to shake every last olive from the branch.
            At first Alberto didn’t notice how she smiled and performed only for Michel who she called Orpheus, father of songs, because he sang for her with honeyed voice, humming like the wind while he worked. Nor did he know that after work Michel crossed over from his house to hers bearing gifts as luscious as his songs and as wild and as full with movement as the brushstrokes he used to abstract paintings he’d painted from photos. Nor that she’d told Michel she never wanted to be a Eurydice who’d been bitten by snakes then turned to stone.
             But Alberto saw her as his property, and not liking it when he recognised the photographer’s love for his subject, decided to ‘let Michel go’, take back his house - he’d get the sack for being clumsy with the olives, squashing, missing or letting them skip off down the hill like dancing monkeys. And Conchita’d receive her first snake-strike too.

After dealing his blow Alberto did a strange thing and went to England’s south coast to visit his brother where other workers, unlike his, dug deep into the sea-bed through porous layers of clay, reaching to the chalk underneath, wading deeper than gravel, sand or flint to assault then reinforce the soft but waterproof marl. Alongside Albert Alberto seemed to wash his hands of his own workers and watched these instead following the boring machine secured against the walls of the cavern, saw the cutter heads holding the auger against the chalk face whirling on wheels, biting through clay, and marvelled as the men lifted the concrete semi-circular lining segments, one by one, laying them around the soft clay circumference of the tunnel.
As they followed the ‘mole' they might be moles themselves he thought trying to ignore an image of twitching burrowing noses forging passage for the ‘human creature’ in underwater land, with this mole bigger, spanning the length of two football fields and giving existence to dark tunnels, places that those from the olive groves he assumed, couldn’t negotiate.
 With each segment they extended the march of the hole underground, further toward France, ‘overcoming’ the storm by ‘undercoming’ it as it were, low in the bowels of the earth secure from ruthless lashings between the tided seas. And the tunnel, once hollowed out would become the little island’s new limb, reaching across in subterranean darkness to touch a bigger land as if they’d never been joined in the first place before the splitting into continents.
            When he saw one of the workers slip as they often did, he thought of Michel, then Conchita. But did he have an inkling then that she'd slipped too, or a six-sense of how more would all slip, as if the rug had been pulled from under their feet, in order to be found?  
                         
            It was winter two thousand feet up above sea level in the muddy olive groves when Conchita learnt Michel had lost his sanity, and as the foreman waved to tell her, fell like the underground workers into a nest of metaphorical vipers whose outer semblance, as she worked from dawn to three wading and sliding knee deep in rain sodden raw earth, was the high gale that tore at branches and riffled the already sifted earth into circles with its whirlwinds.
            In the Zahara hospital she found Michel cowering in the corner of a room muttering ‘this cannot be'. A marred light streamed unsteadily through the window, a striped orange curtain twitched uneasily in a wind that blew over dry uncut grass from outside, wheedling its way through a small opening in the metal frame, festering with odours from an old plastic mattress that leant against a wall bulging with Polyfilla-filled holes.   No-one knew why Michel was so stricken, as if derangement was a chemical imbalance you could catch like a virus or a horror-movie, or, as his consultant un-technically advised - he was suffering from a combination of what he was powerless to control and what he wasn’t.
            When Conchita tried to imagine what Bedlam looked like in Michel’s mind all she could see was a loop that wasn’t a link and couldn’t be punctured, and feeling so alone she might as well have been turned to stone cried out in frustration to the loop that prevented passage and forbad Michel’s answering,  “Why did you have to be dragged down, unwilling, wrecked hero – a blinded Paracas, Texaco Caribbean, Brandenburg or Nikki - of the underworld? Till now I was no Eurydice needing rescue from Hades”.

            A brooding cloud had invaded all their blues. The ‘ornate bird’ from the mountain terrace plateau-ed now not peaked, and as the bird was flat, the firebird dead, Conchita turned her eyes away from the mountains and lake that’d once contained something in a nutshell. The hills planted with olive trees (because the ‘olive fever’ demanded ever more virgin olive oil) had replaced the ancient almonds and the lines of olives marching in strict linear formation made the hills’ surface look like stitches in an old leather belt, goose-pimples on skin or stubble on an unshaven chin which, she decided, belonged to the land-owner she'd never met: the boss who made the rest of them seem like paltry baskers basking in a crepuscular light or in the dawdling emotion that light evokes in the small person’s ever wanting-to-relish but drained-of-power soul, living in a twilight world which savours the taste of a fermented grape or a marinade olive, but doesn’t profit from it.
        
            So when summoned by Alberto she made her way in fury from La Villa to Zahara, ready to remind him that although olives needed to be gathered before they fermented to acerbity, whereas grapes needed to be left to erupt and slowly ferment, the purpose in preparing both - to achieve the highest quality of oil or wine - was always the same.
            And that of the three substances which could be squeezed from the olive, the oil, the fibrous orujo and the bitter black briny film, the alpechin that floated to the surface of alpechineras ponds, only alpechin couldn’t be used for anything, not even recycling.
And she wouldn’t stop there. She’d point out that this filthy alpechin could never resemble the black nigredo or prima materia of the alchemists, the starting material of the personality, the soul that might be re-worked, modelled as it grew. And the result couldn’t be the gold of individuation, the person who got well, perfect and whole. Alpechin, she’d tell him, was an evil by-product that would not be regenerated. A substance like states of mind that aren’t part of us. A waste resistant to degradation.   
And she’d tell him how alpechin had surfaced, so to speak, in one of his worker’s minds. Black scum rising. Unwashed and unshaven, Michel’s degradation not degradable. And softening as she’d have to, she’d ask him, would he, if he could, help her stop his madness? Short circuit the ever increasing loop?

As it turned out neither telling nor asking were necessary. Thrown off course by seeing a picture of herself on the walls as she walked down the corridor, reaching for olives, and then by a wooden jig-saw olive tree on Alberto’s desk identical to the one she still had given to her by her father long ago, she felt herself looking at his gnarled face in astonishment. Alberto, too pleased to see her likeness to his photo didn’t notice her expression at first. But as she picked up the wooden olive tree, slowly fingering and separating its huge parts, and he said he’d another he’d given to his daughter once, they both fell very silent as shock and truth dawned on them simultaneously. By the time Conchita left three hours later there was no doubt Alberto, her father, would help her in whatever way he could. He had a brother, her uncle, in England.
            Beyond the help of medication or negotiation, Michel looked near to death. As there was only one thing that might save his life the consultant said, there was nothing to lose. So Alberto used his influence to get the controversial treatment, and despite everyone’s horror, Conchita’s shame in agreeing, Michel got the deep dark shock that stopped him from turning to acid on a hard, stony ground. Leads got strapped to his head. The switch flicked on. And after the lightening through his brain had saved him Michel vanished from the mountains along with the father Conchita had just found - was he Charon or Hades or just plain Alberto – and her.
            Before closing his mill behind them she noticed Alberto’s olive tree jig-saw still standing on his desk, and on top of his reading material about the tunnel a book on Jungian psychology: Finding Lost Treasures of the Deep opened at the chapter, Freeing blockages, beginning “What goes up must come down….”. But Michel’s transformation seemed unrelated to psychology. The book was about Bleriot or plumbing her father said both grateful for the catharsis of black humour to expel the blackness of alpechin. Before Jung and the defining of the unconscious and before flight, Heraclitus had said that what went up and what came down were one and the same thing.

            Conchita went with Michel where he could convalesce to an outhouse of Albert’s perched high at the edge of the Saxon shoreline, Conchita’s mother, reluctant at first, persuaded to join them in Albert’s main house where Alberto was staying.  In her version of the Orpheus myth, Conchita recalled, Eurydice had descended to rescue Orpheus so he couldn’t turn her to stone. After a few weeks her mother tending the garden full with yellow irises as bright as blazes of sunshine at midpoints, was joined by her father. At the garden’s edge roots of tamarisk, its fruits the manna from heaven, clawed the soil of the sea-banks to keep them stable. They wondered what the marshy flats below looked like when they were sea and remembered a harbour.
On a dull day along the coast the bobbing grey sea, monotone and simple, became a mantra humming under a mist of more grey, a light drizzle of rain on the skyline, and the whiteness of a domed gazebo (I will gaze) picked out by a single ray from an otherwise hidden sun, dazzled: a full-stop setting the limit of sea-horses and long-shore drifts alike. Brandished like these white domes on green-grey seas, as green as Conchita, not grey, and as smooth as satin unfurling, she was, Michel said as she walked on the beach in her emerald green skirt and olive jacket, his gazebo, setting his gaze anew.  When she put out her foot to trip him they tumbled together on to the pebbles.

            Mickey Man Friday, as Albert’s new hard worker had been nicknamed, said quietly to Albert in his strong accent so his mates couldn’t hear to take the mick, that he’d had a dream of forging new passageways as if dreams like cross-pollination were as easy as enemies becoming friends, then gone underground at the point where the seas were at their narrowest and most powerful, down where it was deep, dark, damp and dirty and there was no-sense-of-water nor solar blazes at midpoints above. An older man who looked like Albert the foreman, the workers said, dug beside him.

Two years later, 1990, Christmas approaching, Mickey/Michel was deep underground when the English and French came together under La Manche, Cozette and Fagg popping their heads through to where lazar and radar waves had guided the ‘moles’ that then got buried. He heard the crowds roar and saw photographers’ flash-lights bounce off the sides of the tunnel along with his own. His was the only picture Conchita saw that captured this ‘moment’. He kept it just for her.
            When disaster came to the tunnel as irony would have it, it came from fire not flood, but Mickey/Michel couldn’t have been that disgruntled worker who’d set fire to concrete linings which, like a micro waved potato or repressed psyche, had exploded because there was no means of letting vapour escape.
For the Channel of communication, whether it linked lover to lover, father to daughter, head to heart or England to France, had been prized open. During the tunnel’s construction from 1987 the Wall had come down, Mandela been released from prison and  Communism in the Soviet Union looked set to collapse. The high speed train rushed and sighed with relief.

Twenty years later, one hundred and one years after Bleriot’s flight Michel and Conchita still walk on what Michel and Alberto helped form from over four-million-cubic-metres of slippery chalk marl, alchemical clay dug out, loaded on to conveyor belts, amassed, spread out, dropped into lagoons, formed into mounds, smoothed down then grassed over with paths for them to walk on, inside and outside the mind. Not as big as the island Conchita’d hailed from, this mound, Kent’s newest land still made Britain bigger by sixty-eight football fields and three Cheops pyramids.
            As if progress had made way for one more Heraclitean pebble of change to be thrown into the one underlying, riverine, cosmos, Samphire Hoe, below the cliff where Gloucester never fell, was solid, underfoot now not underground or in the sky. More solid than the point where light had danced on invisibly mixing seas, this Hoe or grass-covered land, monument to and of earth extracted with huge effort to allow passage and communion between two lands and people, made way for the change-without-fear that levelled nightmares, moving like that train or river, stopping us from turning into stone.




Sunday 21 October 2012

Maiuko's article from Transitions One


     Fire in the Tunnel


     Maiuko

I was born in Mozambique in 1962. From my native land to England via sojourns in Swaziland and Portugal, I have so far lived a life full of experiences and all sorts of transitions, many of these naturally expected, progress following a smooth process of development. Others were not so obvious and of course the “unexpected” brought about anxiety and on occasions panic before I could move on to reflection or denial as part of the self-coping-mechanism.
I would like to share with you a moment of clarity I experienced during one transition under the waters of the Channel:

I was on my way to France with my partner for a romantic weekend in Paris, when instead I found myself trapped within a horror of darkness, smoke billowing all around me. Ours had been the first car inside the Channel Tunnel and we were told to return to it and wind up the windows.  After grasping the situation I deduced these were probably my last hours and  with no expectation of getting out alive began what felt like a regressive never-ending journey through my own life’s story.


That was the first time I found myself reflecting on my life as if that person from the past was someone else, looked at by me. I struggled initially to find order in this process but soon it became very clear. In the beginning I saw myself as a happy child nurtured by love in a family environment, but soon felt sorry for that same child who became a soldier in a civil war of grown-ups‘ politics. I felt empathy every time she moved to a new school or country and had to make sense of self-worth in environments of all sorts of discrimination and non inclusion. I respected the teenager that survived the first stages of self-development every time they were interrupted by unexpected changes, then avoided thinking about all the mistakes that the young lady made every time she “knew best“. I remembered with a smile and a tear when she fell in love for the first time, and felt overwhelmed by concern remembering when later she left her family home, “in search of self“.         
Before I had the chance to go through my experiences after I‘d left home, I came to and realised that I’d been trapped for three hours. The officers informed everyone that the incident had been caused by a passenger who’d found it hard to wait seventeen minutes for a cigarette and attempting to smoke it inside his car had accidentally dropped it under the seat where it caught fire. The rescue team moved all the cars out of the tunnel until the smoke was completely cleared. After a long while, I found myself reversed to where I started; outside the tunnel inside which I had rewound time.
Later, when the rescue team started re-loading, most of the traumatised passengers had given up the idea of travelling under the water. I asked myself should I still get in the Tunnel and go to Paris for my romantic weekend? Would I do it all again?  A moment of clarity confirmed it. Of course I would. It would be worse to be stuck in a tunnel empty of experiences because I’d deprived myself of a second chance or feared moving on into the unknown. Life is for living and I shall continue to embrace all transitions as they arise.